Back to the Banks Where We Walked: A Widow’s Journey

St. Marys, Georgia Coastal View (Photo courtesy of Christina Semple)

Framed by the slow-moving St. Marys river, endless marshlands, and tranquil boat-slips, the relaxed, postcard-perfect views of St. Marys, Georgia, became the backdrop to a life suddenly halved when Lynda Duchscherer lost her husband Norm in 2023. 

The Florida-raised, college-sweethearts moved to St. Marys in the 1990s when Norm was stationed at Naval Submarine Base Kings Bay. Embedded in the community and raising a family, they saw no reason to leave after Norm finished his service. 

Saturday morning walks in downtown St. Marys were a cherished routine for Lynda and Norm; a quiet time to soak up their hometown’s charming beauty and share the passing of seasons. “It’s just a beautiful area,” Lynda says, “we would walk along where the river leads out into the ocean. But when he passed away, the Saturday walks stopped.”

Lynda and her late husband Norm on one of their Saturday walks in St. Marys (Photo courtesy of Lynda Duchscherer)

Before she found E-Motion, Lynda says her grief support looked like: “Nothing.” Evening grief support groups in Jacksonville, FL and Brunswick, GA felt distant and inaccessible. She and another recent widow she knew from church started to talk about organizing a group that could meet up socially for dinners or something else. They both wanted to find community without the pressure of having to share or cry in front of a group of strangers in a formal grief support setting. 

When Lynda’s friend found a social media post about an E-Motion Grief Movement Community starting in St. Mary’s, they both decided to take a leap of faith and join. The catch was that the group would be walking along many of the same streets that Lynda hadn’t visited since Norm’s death. She says: “When Christina [our local facilitator] shared the map, I was like “Oh, oh, this is going to be the same route. But it was okay. It was fine. With other people there I knew I would be okay.”

Lynda met her group on a bright Saturday morning near the town's waterfront park. She shared with the others that they would be moving along a route that was very familiar to her and her late husband. As they got moving, Lynda served as an informal guide– pointing out landmarks and directing the group through the most scenic routes.

These days Lynda finds herself looking forward to Saturday mornings. She finds that being in motion supports her grieving style. She says: “I’m not one who likes to sit around in a circle and talk about everything. [At E-Motion] you do it on your own time, you share when you want to share, and I like that. When you’re moving along, you can share and it doesn’t feel like everybody’s watching you.”

Members of the St. Marys Grief Movement Community gather for a group selfie before their walk (Photo courtesy of Christina Semple)

With each week, she says, the group is getting more comfortable. “We open up to each other a little bit more each time. We don’t really talk about it right away when we start walking. But it’s three miles, so things come up. People don’t get uncomfortable about it. They’ve gone through something similar, so it’s okay. We allow each other to talk about it, which is not something I’ve been able to do.”

The movement allows the memories to surface; the shared walks with Norm along the waterfront, as well as a mutual love of travel that took them to Iceland, by train across the Canadian Rockies, and many other countries. “I thought we would be able to do a lot more traveling together after I retired,” Lynda says wistfully. Forty years of marriage, countless steps together, and a vision of enjoying their retirement years together all came to a sudden, screeching halt. 

Three years out now, Lynda is moving with her broken heart, and encouraging others to do the same. She's already recruited two others from her church to join the Grief Movement Community. “These are two people that I had just recently met. I didn’t know them well until we started walking. And now we’ve gotten to know each other and shared our lives.” She says she’s ready to see the group return for E-Motion’s spring season. “I so look forward to those Saturdays!”

Thank you Lynda for so generously and graciously sharing Norm and your E-Motion experience with us. Sending much love to the St Marys Grief Movement Community in Georgia. May the connections and rituals you practice together continue to bring comfort and meaning across the miles!